dream: 11/28/95

dream: in a family member’s house… christmas… reeming dad for not wanting to be around… open presents or something passes… hélène begins playing a guitar and singing in spanish… father corrects her spanish… she plays and sings beautifully… i’m so impressed with my little sister… father in never land… i become angry at him… i’m bringing a bunch of my stuff (presents?) into this corner cubby hole… get it all in and still chastising the old man… then he starts giving me these little boxes to put in with my stuff… i get mad… somepoint the news or something similar announces a gang of some sort, wanted for this and that, is on the loose… look like scummy bikers… rob was there too… i guess at some point dad was tired of my tyraid so he started talking to rob… i see a flash of black leather…
i’m suddenly in atlantic city… ocean one omninous in the background… a couple standing idly… their kids run up to them screaming, “mom dad out stuff’s been stolen!”… repeat repeat… laugh to myself… “oh no!”… kinda feel bad… could imagine a vacation without any stuff… one of the parents mutters something about how one of the kids is only in 8th grade (as if to say they’re too young to have to suffer like this)…
hanging out with the frank’s bar and grill kids (ray, max who else?)… then i disappear… go home… get lonely and bored… catch a bus to ocean one… it all happened so fast… get there and wander about… i think i ran into shauna… and saw jack tarlouci?… (w.c. - i saw shauna the night before)… ocean one was very desolate… no one was really around… and most of the shops were nearly bare… so as i walk i see this chick… not sure if… oh - cut through store, see shauna - kind of?… then i leave the store… and go to an escalator… and there she is… apparently we were both miserable… i suppose i looked fucked up to her… she asked me if i’d gotten drunk the night before… emphatic no!… she said she did, cheerfully… bullshit a bit… wander off… up the escalator… see charlie and some of his fuck ups… but they ignore me… in a way i could care less… so i cut through ocean one… to the back, i see something quasi-interesting… winds up being a casino or a casino on the other side of ocean one… in either case it’s inaccessable and/or useless… so i exit through the back doors… parking garage… slowly strolling taking my time… see a loading dock for trucks… so i hop off of it, using it as a shortcut… i hear someone coming up behind me… they jump and grab me… somehow we begin to float… i thought it was charlie… while flying i imagine the landing… since we’re moving in slowmo… how much is it gonna hurt… am i going to be able to get up and fight if need be?… blah blah blah… but we never land… he winds up in a drivers seat and i’m on the trunk… family about… one guy gives me keys and a wad of cash… car turns into a motorcycle… get to a spot and park… get off and look over the wad and keys… i’m right next to a harley… hear some jerk talking about how he was going to cover the premium (my wad of cash)… and how my partner and i are so professional… really know what we’re doing… as i’m standing there i begin to lose my balance… teeter totter… family holds its breath… anxiety… regain it… they’re all happy… look at keys… pyramid shaped number pad, a security lock… tell my partner (the guy who jumped on me)… he takes off… bastard leaves me to hoof it… and i start running like the wind… all sorts of thoughts running through my mind… “do you want to go to jail boy?… better keep running”… i could hear my partner’s mind, “better him than me”… i feel the strain in my legs… where i’m going there’s a hiway… i know they’ll have an APB on me… so get away… highjack a car or take a bus… since i’ve already broken the law… though i don’t know how… then i wake up…

dream: 11/10/95

dream - bit of it… in the car… w/raymond and father… raymond sits uneasy… father says, “relax, don’t worry”… so ray goes into some femme fit of jittering relaxation… “ok ok”… chair swivels a bit more towards me… looks at me… “i don’t care”… so goes to kiss my father… thinks he’s rubbing my dad’s leg… somehow i wind up in the middle… starts mistakenly rubbing my leg… says he knew relationships changed people but not this way… raymond left an odd taste in my mouth… he seemed so childish through all of this… acting so impish… they may have eventually kissed, i don’t know…